Sample Essay Prep using R&J

As a class, we are going to create a model response to the following essay question:

Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet has earned its place as one of the greatest tragic love stories ever told. What is it about the themes of the play that still hold universal appeal to audiences today?

Think back to the last time you wrote an essay, what are the steps we need to take as we plan our response?

1. Read the question

2. Highlight the key words

3. This question is asking me to…

4. Brainstorm… In this case, think about which universal themes from Romeo and Juliet may be useful in your response.

Possible Themes:

Love

Hate

Family

Suicide

Violence

Fate

Tragedy

Death

Communication

5. Once you have brainstormed, you need to refine your ideas. In this case, which themes will be most useful to your argument?

Love, Family, Fate

6. Write your thesis statement – This is the first sentence in your intro. It should ultimately answer the question.

William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet has earned its right to be known as one of the greatest tragic love stories ever told as a direct result of the universal themes that are explored throughout the play.

It is as a direct result of the universal themes embedded within William Shakespeare’s play, Romeo and Juliet that it has come to be classified as one of the greatest tragic love stories ever told.

The universal themes that underpin William Shakespeare’s play, Romeo and Juliet are the key reason that the play is still referred to as one of the greatest tragic love stories ever told.

Despite its age, the universal themes of William Shakespeare’s play, Romeo and Juliet, ensure that it can still be regarded as one of the greatest tragic love stories ever told.

7. Write your topic sentences. Remember, the topic sentence of each paragraph needs to do two things:

a)      Introduce the focus of the paragraph

b)      Link directly back to your thesis statement

Paragraph 1: Family
The importance of family is one of the universal themes explored in Romeo and Juliet that still appeals to a modern audience.

Paragraph 2: Fate
Fate is another universal theme scrutinised by Shakespeare throughout Romeo and Juliet and still holds interest for a current audience.

Paragraph 3: Love
The universal theme of love, examined throughout Romeo and Juliet, still attracts (fascinates) a contemporary audience.

8. Find the quotations that will be used for each paragraph.
Once you have decided on 3-4 possible quotations, make brief notes for yourself about how the evidence fits into the paragraph and identify whether each piece of evidence demonstrates a certain/several positioning techniques.

9. Once you have finished your planning, write your essay.

Sample Main Body Paragraph:

Fate is another universal theme scrutinised by Shakespeare throughout Romeo and Juliet and still holds interest for a current audience. As the play progresses, the reader becomes increasingly aware of the importance of fate. Shakespeare uses the characterisation of Romeo and Juliet to demonstrate the value that people place on the role of fate in their lives. This becomes obvious when Romeo states, "I am fortune's fool" (Act 3, Sc. 1, 97) indicating to the audience that he truly believes that the events occuring are out of his control. Through the use of personification, Shakespeare is able to position the reader to recognise the power that fate has over characters. A similar attitude towards fate is demonstrated when Juliet cries, "Is there no pity in the clouds/that sees into the bottom of my grief?" (Act 3. Sc. 5, 198-199). By directly appealing to the clouds Juliet demonstrates how Shakespeare is personifying fate and her plea further reinforces the power that fate is believed to hold over people's lives. This belief in fate or fortune mirrors the beliefs of modern day individuals who often appeal to a higher power to step into their lives. For this reason, the theme of fate in  Romeo and Juliet stills appeals to contemporary audiences.

 

 

Feedback for the class: Practice Essays

The following comments are based on what I read across the class after you completed your practice essay. I have broken the feedback up so that you can see comments that are linked to the individual elements of the essay, as well as a section that provides an overview of general issues that need to be addressed.

Introduction

* Ensure that your thesis statement is concise and that it directly addresses the task.

* Make sure that your introduction clearly outlines the focus of your argument and gives insight into how you will explore your points.

* Your intro does not need to be huge but it should be more than just one or two sentences.

* Quotations do not generally work within the introduction. Leave them for the main body.

Main Body

* Ensure that your topic sentences clearly articulate what the focus of each paragraph will be.

* Ensure that your topic sentences provide a link back to your thesis statement.

* Follow up your topic sentences with statements that provide further exploration of your main point.

* As you develop your main body paragraphs, ensure that you are finding ways to integrate your evidence. You need to move beyond starting your discussion of evidence with, "For example...". By integrating your evidence you can demonstrate greater subtly and sophistication in your writing.

*When you are discussing the positioning techniques, ensure that you phrase your analysis appropriately. Shakespeare is positioning the audience, the characters themselves are not positioning anybody.

* Avoid repetitive comments in your main body. These tend to occur when you introduce your evidence and then attempt to synthesize it with the same style of comment.

* Use your evidence appropriately, i.e. use the appropriate parts of the quotations to suit your purpose and ensure that you are sure of what the quotation means.

* Your main body paragraphs should be focused on analysis. Do not fall into the trap of simply retelling the plot. Too much description will mean that you are unlikely to address the key criteria points.

* Quotations should not form part of your topic sentences.

* Ensure that you are synthesizing your evidence. It is not enough to include a quotation and then identify that a positioning technique is used. You need to explain the significance of both the quotation and the affect of the positioning technique(s).

* Make sure you format your paragraphs appropriately. There shouldn't be big gaps between your sentences and you shouldn't be be leaving lines between sentences and quotations unless the quotation is very long.

*Try not to use really big quotations. You are better off using smaller quotations that can be integrated.

* Make sure that your synthesis includes discussion of the various positioning techniques. This is a significant part of your argument. A number of you failed to do this in the last essay, do not make the same mistake again in Othello.

* Make sure you have a closing/linking statement at the end of your paragraphs. You need to ensure that there are clear cohesive ties throughout your essay.

Conclusion

* Your conclusion does not have to be huge but it should be more than just one or two sentences. You need to revisit the question, reinforce your main points and provide closure to your argument. The whole point is to conclude. For a question like this one, you can make some sort of comment as to whether good is privileged over evil or vice-versa.

*Do not bring new information or points into your conclusion.

General Feedback

* Ensure that you are constructing clear, concise sentences.

* Work on eliminating poor written expression. At times, clumsy expression is detracting from your content. This can affect criteria points outside of the middle criteria.

* Do not start a sentence with a conjunction, e.g. 'And', 'But', 'Because'.

* Revise the use of definite (e.g. the) and indefinite articles (e.g. a or an)

*Planning should be extensive given that you will have a couple of days to prepare before you go into the test.

* Work on spelling. This includes general spelling rules such as "i before e except after c".

* Ensure you underline the title of the play.

* Don't make value judgements - this includes comments on how well Shakespeare does something, e.g. "Iago is an excellent example of an evil character". Just stick to analytical discussions e.g. "Shakespeare positions the audience to see Iago as an evil character by..."

* Please revise the use of possessive apostrophes.

* Avoid silly errors like not using capital letters.

* Write in full sentences. Many of you have a tendency to write in sentence fragments.

* Be aware of grammar errors like lapses in subject-verb agreement.

* In the test you need to write in pen, not pencil.

* Quote is a verb, quotation is a noun.

* Make sure you spell Shakespeare correctly.

* Make sure you spell the names of characters correctly.

* Under no circumstances are you to use first or second person in your essay.

* Do not make reference to the era of the play or a particular time period. You are simply referring to the society constructed within the play.

*Write your essay using present tense. This demonstrates that you are engaging directly with the text.

*Make sure you manage your time effectively so that you are able to finish your essay in the specified time.

*Avoid vague statements. You need to be definitive in your statements. If you are vague it means that the reader is able to question your argument.

* Avoid sweeping statements. They do not help your argument.

Quotation bank

Here is a compilation of the quotations and explanations that you worked on in small groups last week:

Othello: “Rude am I in my speech. And little blessed with the soft phrase of peace” Othello in the speech mentioning he doesn’t think he can have the right to speak. (act 1, scene 3, line 80-83)

Herald: “It is Othello’s pleasure, our noble and valiant general” It shows how people respect Othello from this quote. (act 2, scene 1, line 1)

Iago: “I am not what I am”  The personal in the inside is different to how others see him in the outside. (Act 1, scene 1, line 66)

Iago: “I had rather have this tongue cut from my mouth that is should do offence to Michael Cassio.” Make him sound like a perfect person by saying this. He’s saying that he doesn’t want to say anything offence cassio, doesn’t want to break their friendship for both, where he would rather have his tongue cut off his mouth than say anything about Othello. (Act 2, scene 3, line 202-203)

Emilia “They are all but stomachs, and we all but food; They eat us hungerly, and when they are full, they belch us” Saying man treats women badly treat them like food only wants them when their hungry through them away when their full. (act 3, scene 4, line 98-100)

 

“Were I the Moor I would not be Iago. in following him, I follow but myself;

Heaven is my judge, not I for love and duty,” (1:1:57-59)

Significance: This shows the real dedication iago has for Othello as he begins to say he is following him not for love but because it is his duty. In this phrase the audience begins to see the manipulation side of Iago and how he is not just manipulating Roderigo but Othello too. It shows the by pretending to follow Othello for love he can then place revenge against him for what he has done.

“I am not what I am” (1:1:65)

Significance:  This line is where u first get the sense that Iago isn’t what he puts out to be. It shows the audience how he seems to be someone he is not and everything he does for people is all part of his plan in getting revenge by manipulating people and how they see things.

“I had rather to adopt a child than get it…..I am glad at soul I have no other child:” (1:3:191)

Significance: This is where Barabanto finds out that Desdemona has chosen to marry Othello and tells her that he wants nothing to do with her and is ashamed of the reputation she has brought upon the family name. the quote explains that Bartbanto would have rather adopted a child then get one who has brought such shame upon the family name like Desdemona has. He then begins to say that he is glad at soul the he as no other as he would not let them out of his sight as he would make sure this could never happen again. He is so ashamed of her actions he does not want her as his daughter anymore and wished he had never had her and yet adopted that way she would not be his daughter by blood.

“I am glad I have found this napkin.This was her first remembrance from the Moor,
My wayward husband hath a hundred times
Wooed me to steal it, but she so loves the token— 
For he conjured her she should ever keep it— 
That she reserves it evermore about her
To kiss and talk to. I’ll ha’ the work ta’en out,
And give’t Iago. What he will do with it, Heaven knows, not I. 
I nothing, but to please his fantasy.” (3:3:290-299)

Significance: This is where Emilia provides the audience an explanation on the importance of the handkerchief as a prop itself and how important it will become later in the story. This scene is where it is first acknowledged as important. It plays a very important part in Iago’s sabotage, as he knows what the history of the napkin brings to Othello and Desdemona’s relationship. Emilia explains how Iago has kept trying to make Emilia steal it for reasons she is not aware of. She says she will give it to him, which shows the dedication and the responsibilities she has of being a wife.

“If it were now to die, Twere now to be most happy” (2.1.181-182)	Is Othello was to die with Desdemona he would be happy as he was with her
“far more fair than black”	Othello is seen as a good man despite his dark skin so that people see past his skin colour to say that he is on the inside more fair than the blackness of his skin
“and little bless’d with the soft phrase of peace”	Othello is blessed with good speach.
"black as mine own face"	Othello sees himself as a devil and that the blackness he perceives in Desdemona is now matching his face
"honest Iago" "And what's he then, that says I play the villain, when this advice is free I give, and honest...?"	Iago portrays the image of an honest man who gives his truthful advise more freely than some like but because it is the truth they cannot fault him as all he was trying to do was be honest
"He hath a daily beauty in his life that makes me ugly"	Iago is jealous that Cassio has the looks the favour and the job that he desired
(1,1,19-24)“Forsooth, a great arithmetician, One Michael Cassio, a Florentine (A fellow almost damned in a fair wife) That never set a squadron in the field, Nor the division of a battle knows More than a spinster—unless the bookish theoric,”	Iago talks about Cassio being a great mathematician but knows as much about battle as a fair wife
“you rise to play and go to bed to work” (2,1,114)	Iago sees Emilia as a fickle woman who sleeps around
“Disprove this villain, if thou be’st a man. He says thou told’st him that his wife was false. I know thou didst not, thou'rt not such a villain. Speak, for my heart is full.”(5.2.171-174)	Emilia deviates from her from her dutiful wifely persona when she realises what Iago has done to Desdemona with her unwilling help
“Tush! Never tell me. I take it much unkindly That thou, Iago, who hast had my purse As if the strings were thine, shouldst know of this.”(1,1,1-3)	This shows that roderigo has foolishly been mislead as to believe that Iago was his friend and has therefore been letting him us his money under false pretences but does not want to know about what Iago is actually doing with the money as he prefers not to know and be kept in his lies

THEMES:

·       Appearance and Reality

·       Love and Hatred

·       Jealousy

·       Heaven and Hell

·       Dark and Light

“Were I the Moor I would not be Iago.
In following him I follow but myself;
Heaven is my judge, not I for love and duty,
But seeming so for my peculiar end.
For when my outward action doth demonstrate
The native act and figure of my heart
In compliment extern, ’tis not long after
But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve 
For daws to peck at. I am not what I am. (I.i.57–65)”

- This quotation is shown to have importance in Othello as it explains how Iago feels about people showing themselves for whom they are. Within this scene, Iago tells Roderigo about his plans to exploit Othello. He continues to say that he does not go by Othello for love or duty, but because he wants to make him suffer. Iago understands that Othello is exactly how he seems, and by telling him his wife had cheated on him would be the exact kind of thing he would believe. In the last section of the quotation iago says “’tis not long after
But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve 
For daws to peck at. I am not what I am.” Meaning that for him to show himself as vulnerable will never happen. This quotation represents the themes of: Hatred and Appearance and Reality.

“My noble father,
I do perceive here a divided duty.
To you I am bound for life and education.
My life and education both do learn me
How to respect you. You are the lord of my duty,
I am hitherto your daughter. But here’s my husband,
And so much duty as my mother showed
To you, preferring you before her father,
So much I challenge that I may profess
Due to the Moor my lord. (I.iii.179–188)’

- This quote is the first the audience hears of Desdemona speaking within the whole play. This straight away shows how Shakespeare wanted to position her as the way she speaks is clearly, truthfully and with courage for what she believes in. When standing up against her father, she still shows respect for him and says that her love between them is “divided”. However because of her language and emotions, Iago is able to manipulate Othello into believing she is cheating on him with Cassio therefor leaving her as a tragic character as Othello does not believe her honesty. This quotation represents the themes of: Love and Jealousy.

“Good madam, do. I warrant it grieves my husband

As if the cause were his (III.iii.)

- Within this quote, Shakespeare uses dramatic irony through Iago’s wife. As this comes shortly after Cassio and Othello’s argument, Amelia is convincing Desdemona to speak to Othello highly of Cassio. As she explains to Desdemona, she refers that Iago is so upset by what has happened to Cassio that he feels it is his problem too. This is the dramatic irony, as the audience already knows that in actual fact it is Iago’s fault, positioning him to be a good character to everyone else.  This quotations represents the themes of: Appearance and Reality

Quote	Reference (act, scene, line)	Relation to play	Relation to now days/reader
“Excellent wretch! Perdition catch my soul but I do love thee; and when I love thee not, chaos is come again.”	(3.3.90-92)	This quote is significant to the play because it is Othello saying that he truly loves Desdemona but when he is full of jealousy, he will not be the calm, sweet man that he is; he will turn against her and everything will turn to chaos. It’s sort of saying if he finds any reason not to love her, he will seek revenge on why.	This quote is significant to the reader of nowadays because it relates to jealousy and how everything can be perfect one minute and then completely change into chaos or complete confusion.
“I saw’t not, thought it not, it harmed not me. I slept the next night well, fed well, was free and merry. I found not Cassio’s kisses on her lips. He that is robbed, not wanting what is stolen, let him not know’t and he’s not robbed at all.”	(3.3.340-344)	Pretty much saying that he would not be jealous and he would not think badly of Desdemona if he didn’t know about the cheating. He would be fine not knowing because he was happy with life. Now he doesn’t know what to believe.	This relates to nowadays because it relates to jealousy and whether you would rather know about it or not.
“My noble father, I do perceive here a divided duty. To you I am bound for life and education. My life and education both do learn me. How to respect you. You are the lord of my duty, I am hitherto your daughter. But here’s my husband, And so much duty as my mother showed. To you, preferring you before her father, So much I challenge that I may profess. Due to the Moor my lord.”	(1.3.178-187)	Desdemona shows her courage at the beginning of the play because she is telling her father of her and Othello’s marriage. Although her father does not agree she uses her mother’s experiences to change his mind. Due to this deception, later on the play Iago uses this to his advantage to change Othello’s views when he says she has deceived her father, why will she not deceived you.	This relates to modern day because it shows that although someone can be very kind and obeying; they also have courage and will stand up for what they believe in or they will not let society change their feelings towards each other.
“I am glad I have found this napkin. This was her first remembrance from the Moor, My wayward husband hath a hundred times Wooed me to steal it, but she so loves the token— For he conjured her she should ever keep it— That she reserves it evermore about her To kiss and talk to. I’ll ha’ the work ta’en out, And give’t Iago. What he will do with it, Heaven knows, not I. I nothing, but to please his fantasy”	(3.3.292-300)	This shows that Emilia will do anything to please her husband. It is the role of the woman to please her husband and because Iago had been asking for Emilia to steal the handkerchief, she did. Even though she had no idea that he was going to use it against Othello and Desdemona.	The does not relate much to modern day audiences because women’s roles have changed since then and it is not their complete duty to listen and do what their husbands want. Although it does show that some people will do anything for the one they love.
“far more fair than black”	(1.3.286)	Shows that Othello is not treated as a black person would be treated back in those days. He is treated as equal to a white person because of his high power and authority.	This relates to modern audience because people nowadays are very multicultural and there is not much racism anymore. Also everyone is equal and it shows people that although he was considered black by some, everyone treated him equally because of the things he had done to help his country.

Quote	Significance
IAGO: I hate the Moor: And it is thought abroad, that 'twixt my sheets He has done my office: I know not if't be true; But I, for mere suspicion in that kind, Will do as if for surety. (1.3)	This quote is significant as it gives Iago another reason to hate Othello. Iago states that he has heard rumours that Othello was in bed with his wife, Emilia. Though before Iago stated that he hates Othello because he did not give him the promotion. Even though this rumour isn’t true, it essentially ‘fuels the fire’ of Iago’s hate for Othello.
IAGO: Awake! what, ho, Brabantio! Thieves! Thieves! Thieves! Look to your house, your daughter and your bags! Thieves! Thieves! (1.1)	Iago is informing Desdemona’s father that she has eloped with Othello by yelling that he has been robbed. This idea that Desdemona’s father was robbed of her gives off the impression that women were seen as objects belonging to men. This attitude is quite prevalent through the play.
IAGO: ‘Zounds, sir, you're robb'd; for shame, put on your gown; Your heart is burst, you have lost half your soul; Even now, now, very now, an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe. Arise, arise; Awake the snorting citizens with the bell, Or else the devil will make a grandsire of you: Arise, I say. (1.1)	This quote also emphasises the idea that women are objects owned by men, as Iago again refers to the fact the Desdemona’s elopement ‘robbed’ her father of her. The ram and ewe analogy is also quite significant as it compares the elopement between Othello (an old black man) to Desdemona (a young white lady) to bestiality. Iago also compares Othello to the devil.
BRABANTIO: O thou foul thief, where hast thou stow'd my daughter. (1.2)	When Brabantio says this, it shows that he feels that his daughter would not have willing eloped, and that the most likely scenario is that Othello had kidnapped her or something similar. This shows Brabantio’s attitudes towards Othello.
BRABANTIO: She has deceived her father, and may thee. (1.3)	This quote is very significant as it is very much true. Desdemona does deceive her father, and when Othello is questioning if Desdemona has deceived him, Iago ‘fuels the fire’ by saying that  it is very likely, as it has happened before.

Quote/Who said it	Reference	Explanation
“I am not what I am” - Iago	(I.I.66)	Foreshadowing who he is as a person & allows to audience to understand that he’s a manipulative person
“…an old black ram is tupping your white ewe…” – Iago	(I.I.89-90)	Reference to Othello and Desdemona’s relationship – the attitude of insulting Othello because of his race.
“…valiant Othello…” – Duke	(I.3.47)	First time his name is mentioned in the play and how he is portrayed by different characters – in this case respected and admired by the Duke for his efforts in Cyprus and Venice
“Rude am I in my speech and little blessed with the soft phrase of peace…” - Othello	(I.3.81-2)	How Othello views himself – insecurity of who he is as a person due to his race and colour
“…she has deceived her father and may thee…” - Brabantio	(I.3.289)	Brabantio foreshadowing events to come later on in the play and putting the intial idea in Othello’s head which is later on reinforced by Iago
“Honest Iago…” - Othello	(I.3.290)	Othello is totally deceived by Iago as he respects him and believes he’s an honest man – this reputation makes it easier for Iago to manipulate him
“…and it is thought abroad that ‘twixt my sheets…” – Iago	(I.3.369)	Iago holding a grudge against Othello as he believes that he slept with Emilia. This gives insight to the audience as to why Iago is so motivated to belittle Othello.
“I am glad on’t; ‘tis a worthy governor…”	(2.I.29)	Othello’s reputation of being a noble soldier and an honest and good person even though he may not think that of himself.
“With as little a web as this will I ensnare as great a fly as Cassio…” - Iago	(2.I.164)	Iago is explaining to the audience how he will manipulate Cassio to get what he wants and he will be an easy target. From Cassio’s actions towards Desdemona, it won’t be hard for Iago to make Othello jealous and make Cassio appear guilty.
“Reputation is an idle and most false imposition, oft got without merit and lost without deserving” – Iago	(2.3.247-8)	Iago is hinting to the audience about his own reputation and that he is a false and dishonest person.

Quotes	Theme	Positioning technique	Significance
"Iago is most honest," (act 2: scene 3:7)	Trust	Irony/foreshadowing	Iago is not all that he seems
"I am not what I am,"	Irony	Foreshadowing/binary opposition	Iago isn't what he seems to be, hiding his true personality
“I think thou dost; And for I know thou’rt full of love and honesty,” (Act 3: Scene 3: 133-134)	Trust	Irony	The audience knows that Iago is not honest and loving, Othello has fallen under Iago's manipulative way
“An old black ram is tupping your white ewe,” (Act 1: Scene 1: 91-92	Prejudice	Binary opposition	Innocent thing is being polluted by their skin colour. Shows that in the play, marriage of the same race is valued.
Quotes	Theme	Positioning Technique	Significance
"and it is thought abroad that 'twixt my sheets He's done my office," (act 1:scene 3:369-370)	Jealousy	Foreshadowing	Why Iago doesn't like Othello. Iago values 'pure' women, who don't sleep around.
"With as little a web as this will I ensnare as great a fly as Cassio," (act 2: 1: 164-165)	Sabotage	Metaphor	How Iago is going to sabotage Cassio. Small effort to sabotage-won't be difficult.
"Zounds, sir, y'are robb'd!" (act 1:1:89)	Dishonest	Metaphor	Brabantio has his daughter taken away from her. Shows that father's in the play value owning their daughter.
"I had rather have this tongue cut from my mouth Than it should do offence to Michael Cassio," (2:3:203-204)	Irony	Imagery	Iago continues to lie and deceive-he makes out like he values the friendship of Cassio.
"reputation is and idle and most false imposition, oft got without merit and lost without deserving," (2:3:247-248)	Reputation	Binary opposition	Reputation is very valued
"it is the green eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on" (3:3:168)	Jealousy	Imagery	For-warning the future